I've been feeling a little jumbled this week, rather thread-bare, coming apart at the seams just a bit, my emotions very close to the surface and erupting often. Last weekend we took Tucker to our local animal shelter to see if there were any good candidates for adoption. We "interviewed" an 8 month-old shepherd/pitbull cross but it just wasn't a good match. Tucker completely ignored her and focused completely on us, while she completely ignored us and focused completely on him. Not exactly what we were looking for. As we start the process of getting another dog my emotions surrounding Bailey are resurfacing, still so raw. I'm sure the idea of saving a dog is a big part of my grieving process, since I couldn't save Bailey and wasn't even here to take care of him in his last days.

Both dogs were and are completely in love with my husband, while they just like me. You know what I mean: when I come home I get -- Oh hi Mom -- but when Daddy comes home its the most exciting thing ever!!! I try not take it personally, D deserves that devotion, but if we are going to get another dog I would like it to be, for one, smaller, and two, as much as possible, my dog. We may end up with another dog who adores him and likes me, and that would be OK, but it would be nice to have that kind of a reception too.

There are adoption fairs nearby for the next two weekends so I'm hopeful a little bundle of love with find their way to me soon.